Love and Romance

Ok, so I spent yesterday doing the ironing whilst watching soppy romantic movies and it made me think. As women we get conditioned by the media and films to expect romance to be all grand gestures and chocolates and flowers and in real life if a bloke brings you chocolates and/ or flowers you assume he has done something wrong or wants sex or both.

Why in real life do we not find the men who will literally save our lives (Leo in Titanic, Keanu in Speed), meet a handsome man who will sweep us off our feet with romantic gestures and give up everything to be with us. It always happens in films.

You know when the guy proposes in the films, why does the girl never say No. People in real life say No when asked on occaision. The realisation that the relationship you have been in for the last million years was just a holding pattern for the future comes shattering down with the utterance of No whilst on one knee. Or worst when the bride or groom bolts from the alter after getting second thoughts. Although that does sometimes happen in the movies it's often because they realised they were in love with someone else and not just that they were living with that person so they could say they were in a relationship. There reaches a point in your life when it is better to say you are in a relationship than are still single!

Cue going into work today. Someone eluded to me a couple of weeks ago my crush had something on his mind and I have since been fearing the worst, he is marrying his girlfriend or they are having a baby and then it is all FINAL. Well today I had to sit there whilst the guys were teasing him about why he won't marry her. I know she wants to marry him as he told me she has picked an engagement ring out. I know he would get married cause we had a conversation about getting married and having kids ages ago and both of us agreed we would get married if we had kids and we both wanted kids one day.

Having said that what I don't understand is why they arn't getting married. I wonder if he has his doubts. Surely if they have been together for years, live together and everything else marriage would be the next step. He very rarely talks about his girlfriend in front of me, often only in passing but I know he talks about her to other people we work with as I find out bits and peices in passing. I have always been told that when you know you know and it all fits in place. Films have taught me that people fall in love, live together, get married and have kids. friends have told me that you fall in love, live together, get engaged even though you know you arn't going to marry him and then leave them and find someone you do love, live with and marry.

So today we are sitting next to each other and working. I'm using the computer and he is looking at me again. This time i'm not imagining it as I have new glasses on and he makes a comment about them. I turn and we are sitting right next to each other and are looking eye to eye and it all feels normal and comfortable. I very rarely make eye contact with anyone, especially not close up! I have to know people well to make eye contact.

As he's leaving he tells me he has to go on time as he has to return his dinner suit he hired for the weekend. I get a vision of him looking like James Bond standing in front of me. I say I bet he looked really smart and he says he doesn't like wearing suits. So I say did you look like the full James Bond and he laughs.

I can't help it but this guy drives me crazy. I have never met anyone that I feel so comfortable with. I work with other guys that I feel comfortable with but more like a brother and not in a way that I have random dreams about them.

To us who are not experienced in love it is all too confusing and I have come to the conclusion that films are to blame. I have always expected to fall in love at first sight with someone who will fulfill me, marry me and have kids with. We will of course live in a mansion and drive an expensive car as they do in the films and be very important and loved by everyone and not be one of those false and annoying couples that everyone hates. I now see this is not real life and I find it a little bit sad. Please someone tell me that I'm wrong and that the Leo's and Keanu's do exist in the real world at least for someone if not me!